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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I have Never.....

**I never made it back to the break room today to check on my black hole theory.  Okay so that is not entirely true, I did go in there to get a desperately needed Diet Coke, but I forgot to look at the tables, or maybe it was all the tables were filled with people eating their lunch.
**I have never been told I smell before today--well Amelia tells me all the time that my perfume stinks and it hurts her nose, but she is 11 and she has REALLY stinky soccer feet! --I guess I should be grateful "you smell" was  a reference to my perfume and not my inability to make it to the shower or hold my gas, now that would have been a really humiliating conversation!! --Of course those of you who know me well, know I don't offend easily and I have that incredibly dry warped sense of humor-so of course I giggled to myself all afternoon.  Every time someone said something I would think to myself "well at least you don't smell" and giggle a little more.
**I have never run away from home, but some days I think it might be a fun adventure.
**I have never beaten my kids, but they beat me down fairly regularly.
**I have never used a cuss word, and if you believe that I have some "Ocean Front Property in Arizona" I would like to talk to you about.
**I have never not for one second in almost 16 years wondered where my children get " it" from! I know exactly where they got "it" from!! and if you know my kids at all, I don't even have to put a definition of "it" on here!

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